Funeral for my Straight Self

Featured Image: Laura Shannonhouse


We are gathered here today

The Masked Priest’s voice booms

To celebrate the life

Of this straight self

Though voices wail

And I open my eyes to peek

Too curious to keep them shut

And suddenly I see

A hundred lovers so beautiful

Though they weep draped in black,

Gripping odd objects

As if for some sort of comfort.

And family who don’t share my blood

But this heart of mine

Howling as if struck by lightning.

I look down upon myself and see

A formidable lacy black wedding dress

So fanciful I myself shed a tear

Though I no longer hold command

Over these cold heavy limbs.

She was a beautiful caterpillar

Though it is only through her own metamorphosis

That she may become an extraordinary butterfly.

She was kind though clueless

So deluded to her heterosexuality

She convinced herself it was only men she loved

Though her heart yearned for exquisite souls

Defying the boxes they tried to place her lovers in,

This Masked Priest declares

And the lovers wail shaking,

Each voice crashing over another,

As if their owners are afraid their words will leave them

Never to return.

She bewitched me

She loved me

She is in a better place

They shout

Yes! Yes praise the Lord she is in a better place

The Masked Priest says

And suddenly a silence warms the night air

A silence so thick

It would choke me

If there was air in these lungs.

There is nothing I could say

To ease this moment

The Masked Priest says.

So they take off their Mask

And I see my own face

Staring back at me

Only she has laugh lines,

Twinkling eyes, and rainbow makeup.

And suddenly 

As if on cue

Rainbow confetti falls 

Like a soothing rain

During this funeral for my straight self.

Sanaa Mirz

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