The Numbness I Feel

Featured Image: Sydney Rae

The numbness I feel

Is my heart, icing over

After an avalanche

Froze my soul

Tiny snowflakes

Laying on my lungs

Until they collapsed

Under the weight

Of one thousand disappointments

Of heartache, worry, stress

Crushed under the voice

Of your fury

As uncontrolled as a falling glacier

Plummeting into the depths

Only to rise up again

After promises

Of change

Lies told

When you have no intention

Of plodding through

The snowfalls

Of your own heart

The drifts of your shattered soul

Mind

Body

And instead,

Choose to stay trapped

Under the icebergs

Of your own making

That will be

Your destruction

Instead of your revolution

The warmth

You could feel

From lighting the fire

To melt this frozen prison

Perhaps

Too far away

For you to recognise

So, instead

You add more cold

To the frozen fragments

Of who you once were

Every apology

Every guilty feeling

Every bit of shame

Taking the temperature

Further down

Until your heart

Slowly stops beating

And you wonder

How it happened

So quickly

But we,

Left behind,

Know it began

With a single snowflake

You did not brush off

That grew

To freeze

Not only yours

But my heart, as well.

Sarah Davies

Sarah holds Bachelors of Journalism/Arts, as well as Masters in International Relations/International Law. As an intersectional feminist (in-progress), she is passionate about gender equity, social justice, and human rights. Her dream is to be a part of changing international law structures that disproportionately impact women and non-binary folk. She hopes to write for change, and in her spare time manages a blog for not-for-profit organisation, the One Woman Project. Sarah has two cats, loves plants and books, and, after a stressful day, can usually be found in low-sensory surroundings.