I don’t really like to think or talk about my greatest fear.

Why discuss something I’ll never know?

I’d rather talk about anything else, honestly.

Like the time I ran to my grandmother in tears,

Because my mother took the training wheels off my bike.

Or the time my brother popped the heads off my Barbie dolls,

Because I ratted him out about throwing darts at the wall.

There were holes everywhere. I might’ve helped,

I can’t remember…

Or what about the times my best friends and I would reenact movie scenes?

That’s how we spent our summer vacations —

Not your average teenaged girls, we weren’t into makeup and boys.

We enjoyed life!

And what about basic training, that was a significant life change

Drill Sergeants dictating my every move, stretching the limits of who I was,

Mind, body, and soul.

I served my country proudly, so many good times with so many people

I can’t forget…

I remember when I saw his face, never thought we would connect

He tried so hard to get my attention, I thought that was so cute

A little desperate, but still cute

I was loved, and I loved, I can’t lose that mindset.

And then, when he and I found out we’re having a baby

We, like goofballs, were so happy and jumping for joy

When she arrived, I remember the first time I saw her look up at me

with those tiny, brilliantly brown eyes

So sweet and innocent and brand new

And then she finally smiled. My heart melted.

Her laugh was the most refreshing thing to experience, it brought tears to my eyes

I have to remember to tell her one day

I fear I may forget to remember

And not remember what I’ve forgotten

I won’t even be aware of the things I once knew

I hope I don’t forget her too.

Tags: dementophobia
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Mother 👧🏾 Army Vet 🇺🇸 Writer ✏ Enjoyer of life 🤟🏾