A letter to the present you:

I write this letter as a reminder that no matter how bad things get, they will always get better… and I’d like to start off on a positive note, hoping that the next time you chance upon this letter, things would’ve changed for the better and that you’ve received all the happiness that you so rightly deserve. Because as I write this letter today, I know exactly what you are going through, and I hope with all my heart that this pain that you’re feeling soon ends.

I know how hard it is for you to wake up every morning, fight the urge to just stay in bed all day, put on a mask and pretend that it’s all okay. You wait for night to fall, but then you hope that the sun doesn’t rise the next day, only so that you don’t have to repeat the same cycle again. I know you’re waiting on a miracle, but I also know how certain things have broken you, and how you are trying so hard to go back to being how you once used to be. And that is why you have stopped waiting for your miracle to work its magic on your world because you no longer believe in it.

I know you feel empty and that’s how you can best describe yourself. The emptiness resides in a big black hole in the place of your heart that makes it impossible for you to feel anything else at all. You do not know how to explain to anyone how desperately you want to do something, you just can’t. And you constantly wonder why this black hole keeps weighing you down; after all, if something is empty, it shouldn’t weigh anything at all, right?

You feel so lost trying to get yourself through the day that you’ve forgotten how to escape. You don’t even have to look into a mirror to realize that your smile doesn’t reflect in your eyes anymore; nevertheless, you make sure that your guise remains safe. But sometimes in the dead of the night, you wonder, if there is somebody who has realized that yet.

Some days you hope that you’d vanish without a trace, knowing that memories of you wouldn’t mean anything to anyone. But some days you wish that somebody finds you, and finds where the emptiness resides and fills you with all the light there is in this world, to make you feel light and show you what happiness feels like again. I hope you find this person and I hope they feel like sunshine.

I hope that when you receive all the love that you are capable of giving out, you also find yourself. And after that, you can focus on never losing yourself down a dark path ever again. When your miracle finally starts to work its magic, I hope you go back to being the person who is always in love with sunsets, stars, and the sky. I hope that once you get back that shine in your eyes, you never let it die.

But mostly, I hope that you rediscover yourself and keep looking forward. Because no matter how bad things may seem right now, you have always found something to believe in, and I hope that you continue to hold your belief until the storm clears out and paves way for the light to finally come in.

When you read this letter in the future I hope that you are in a happy place in your life.

I hope that you have relearned to love all the things you once did, I hope that you’ve found your sparkle, and I hope that you’ve learned how to fly.

Yours lovingly,

‘You’ who has to continue to stay strong for yourself.