Hmmm. I’ve said that a lot lately.
Could you say I’m in a bad place? Could you say I’m figuring out the parts of life we as humans shy away from? Could you say I’m figuring out the journey of life? Ironic that the “positive affirmations” journalist struggles with these questions.
When we say “bad place,” what do we think of? I personally think: defeated, hopeless, uninspired. To each his own of course, but these days that’s where I find myself. The good side about it is you would never know because of how graceful I am with these moods. The bad side is just it. You would never know. I have an interesting way of dealing with these moods. I immediately want to push everyone, and I mean everyone, away. Why? Because I don’t want to tear others down with my pain. I never want people to feel my temporary pain. Could you say “processing”? I would. But I’m learning that with processing comes necessary communication. Everyone may not understand your process and that is okay.
That last line was for me by the way. Grace. That’s kind of my thing. For years I’ve practiced this state of being. But for many years I’ve confused this state of being. Grace doesn’t mean isolation. And to this day, I’m still learning that. In life, we sometimes lose our ways. All of us. No matter how good or bad we are at hiding it. It’s okay to have a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen. It doesn’t make you crazy or any less human. After all, we’re social beings. So we must learn to accept that, embrace it, and use that identity to our advantage.
Note to self… With time. With time it gets better. With time it gets easier. With time comes peace. With time comes genuine laughter. With time comes understanding. With time comes sleep for restored peace — not escape. With time. In due time. It will be time. Your time. And my time. Life doesn’t require that we be the best, only that we try our best. Life is like a camera. You focus on what’s important. Capture the good times. Develop from the negatives. And if things don’t work out. Take another shot. Don’t go through life. Grow through life. With time, of course.
(Featured Photography: Saaleha Shamsi)